The mission of any birth doula is to improve the overall experience for all births.

It does not matter if the person going through the labor is the mother of the child, or a gestational carrier birthing for a couple or single parent.  A doula is there regardless. While in a traditional setting the doula would support the birthing person and their partner, in a surrogacy situation the doula can support every party involved: the birthing person, their partner and the soon to be parents of the child. So, if you are an intended parent, why would you need a doula? The facts are that the surrogate has gone through labor before and has delivered her own children. The partner would have also been there to support during labor.  As an intended parent, you can look up the amazing statistics resulting from when doulas are present at a birth.

  • Decrease in Cesarean births by 39%
  • Increase in spontaneous (non induced) vaginal birth by 15%
  • Decrease in the use of narcotic pain relief by 10%
  • Average length of labor decreased by 41 minutes
  • Decrease in the risk for a baby having a low 5 minute Apgar score by 38%
  • Decrease in the risk of the birthing person being dissatisfied with the overall birth experience by 31%

But you have to ask yourself, what can a doula exactly do for you?

You’re not the one carrying the child, right? But that’s just it – you are still having a baby. You still need to make emotional and physical preparations to bring a baby home. You need to be ready to answer questions during labor, make decisions immediately after birth, or during labor if an emergency happens. A doula can support you through all of this and more. In the beginning, a doula will sit with you and your surrogate, and talk about a birth plan and what your wishes are, such as: being present in the room to help your surrogate work through labor, helping you to understand your role when it is time to push, remind hospital staff of your wishes to cut the cord or do cord blood banking, ensure that skin to skin (the golden hour) takes place with YOU and the baby, and more.

Helping you to build the necessary bonds with your child, and to embrace your most important role as a parent. A doula can also help you “prep” for a caring for a baby. You might say to yourself: I’ve had kids before, I know what I need. But do you? The evolution of baby items and gear changes so rapidly. A doula will help you feel as physically prepared as you can be with key, necessary items and nothing you don’t need immediately (or ever). A doula can also help with chest feeding by using donated milk from your surrogate or a donor bank (should this be the direction your and/or your partner would like to go). Your doula can help you feel good about your choices, because doulas are there to support you choices…without judgement or basis.

Overall – the numbers and outcomes don’t lie. Having a doula for yourself and your surrogate will create a better overall pregnancy and birthing experience. Everyone will go into the birth feeling educated and as ready (as anyone could possibly be) and will leave knowing that having a doula there was the best decision they could have made.